Friday, April 17, 2009

Plain and Simple

People ask me all the time, "How do you manage such handsomeness?" It's not easy. I wasn't born this way. It's a tough job polishing this turd but I admit that I believe in using proper tools. Ten years ago, Aidan Gill told me that shaving was one of the only things a man is allowed to be fetishistic about. It's a ritual worth embracing.

Unlike most men my age, I never jumped on the Mach3/extreme shave gel boat. I tried it when it first came out and hated it, never used it more than twice. The price for replacement blades sucked back then so I can only imagine it sucks worse now. For a while I used a double blade cartridge and original Barbasol but I soon began to question, "What's with all the bullshit?" Is more than one blade at a time necessary? Does this nonsense actually work better? Men no doubt looked better before our time so how did they get by before all the plastic hogwash and doohickeys? Deep in my bones I trust that with most situations, there are older, better ways to do things.

I think people know less than they used to, and not just about shaving. Sure, your dumb ass knows how to log on and send an email, but I'd bet that you know less about how that works than my grandmother knew her way around writing and mailing an actual letter. And I'll bet if I asked you which one is better and why, you'd fail. That's because you are an idiot that lives a lower quality standard of life that 9 times out of 10, costs you more. But that's your problem.

I am a miner who is led by an inner light. I dig through mountains of illogical ideas, mutant uglies, sub dwellers, and habitual liars everyday in search of who and what are better. I am a vampire with a blood like taste for truth. I'm a simple man who walks a complex trail to be that way. Do
you understand? Do you know what it means to understand!?! Do you understand that I UNDERSTAND! Understanding! It is by understanding that I eternally stand over you...with a clean shave.

These are a man's tools for a superior shave.
-Merkur 33c Classic. 
-Tabac tallow based shave soap. Made in Germany
-Col. Conk pure badger brush
-Derby Extra or Feather blades. Haven't tried the Israeli Red Pack yet.

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